On Cultivating Compassion
the f*cking hardest practice I know, especially with intimate partners :D
I recently led my first in-person Women’s Circle. Although I've hosted international retreats with Pussfied, creating a consistent women’s circle is the type of community I've wanted to cultivate for years. Our theme was COMPASSION {read about the difference between compassion and empathy here}.
I define compassion as the courage to face painful realities with a tender heart and the dedication to act with fierce love.
For the past three years, I've been working with compassion as an energetic frequency, embodying the Goddess of Compassion, Kwan Yin, and honoring her as a guide.
As a recovering empath, I've found compassion to be a balm for my weathered heart. I've learned that I have a choice in whether or not to absorb other people’s pain.
I don't have to commiserate to connect, nor do I need to alleviate suffering by suffering myself.
Like a cosmic joke or a test from the Universe, the night after the women’s circle, my husband and I had a yelling match—a rare occurrence for us. For two people with a habitual freeze response due to trauma, this actually indicates a secure attachment; we trust that we'll still be there for each other after conflict, even if it feels terrible in the moment. However, my compassion flew out the window right at the start. It wasn’t until I had a moment to cool off, and the option of being alone to sleep, that I remembered compassion. I brought his upset inner-child into my heart, alchemized his pain with love, and sent back love to his Spirit. This simple intentional practice completely shifted how I perceived his emotional pain (it wasn’t mine and I didn’t have to take it on, but I could be present to it and vocalize my requests for next time, so we could handle it better). After 10 minutes, I went in to cuddle him and tell him everything’s alright. In the past, I would’ve just shut down, blacked out, and went to bed crying, thinking that everything was fine and resolved.
For those we are closest to, perhaps even more than for those we dislike, compassion can be the hardest. We often place unrealistic expectations on them, expect them to meet those expectations, and judge them when they don't. Judgment is the poison of compassion. Compassion does not mean being a doormat or pushover to the world either, it can be fierce, assertive, and radically honest. Sometimes shit happens, and that’s why we call compassion a PRACTICE. We need constant reminders and discipline to remember how to live with an open heart.
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Our next Bay Area Harmonic Hearth Women’s Circle is coming soon, and I’ll announce the date asap!
We plan to move towards every 3rd Friday of the month this Fall <3
Sending loads of love and warmth your way!!!
Here’re my current offerings (email me for details):
Harmonic Hearth: a Bay Area monthly women’s circle
Online Couple’s Tantric Ceremonies: 2.5 hour ceremonies to cultivate your energy bodies, release tension, and reignite your love
IN-PERSON Bay Area, or Austin, Tantric Couple’s or Individuals Ceremonies: 2.5 hour ceremonies to cultivate your energy bodies, release tension, and reignite your love
*FYI: I’m no longer accepting clients for 1-1 coaching, at least for now
If you want more virtual support, recipes, and guided practices on topics such as this, join the Intimately Wendy Telegram Group… Join anytime. Cancel anytime.
Here’s a ‘lil peek inside the living library 👀
