What is POWER?
"Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power." - Lao Tzu
We looked into each other's eyes, laughing, but also in shock from the heightened chaos around us.
As we breathed together, taking in the loud sounds, moans, and shudders, I shrouded us with my veil to shield us from the undesirable circumstances.
I instructed us to connect with the Earth and drew a shimmering golden bubble of light around us, protecting us from unwanted energy, fortifying our boundaries, and reminding us that we could create the experience and reality we desired.
After a few moments of a knowing, piercing eye gaze with one another, we nodded, both understanding it was time to leave.
We felt the inner power to do that...
To kindly leave a situation that we didn’t want to be in.
My husband and I went to a Tantric workshop 2 weeks ago, and if some of y’all don’t know, I am a Tantric Intimacy Coach and Ceremonialist, as well as, an Integrative Health practitioner, and I have only been studying this path for the last 5 years. There are way more masterful teachers than me, and I humbly love learning from others and being a lifelong student.
Anyway, we went to the workshop by a teacher, who practiced Tantra for 10+ years, thinking that it’d be a simple couples-only 3-hour breathwork and authentic relating journey, which we were totally down for, but then the facilitator completely lost herself in the energy of the group and seemingly used the experience to fulfill her own sexual needs. In other words, there was NO CONTAINER.
Without a container held, there is no safety, and there is no masculine structure for energy to flow sustainably.
POWER BECOMES LEAKY when nothing is holding it.
But, something I’ve noticed lately with certain conditioning in spiritual paths, rejection of money, laws, and conventional relationship structure, the ‘hippy free-love’ life, and the societal pendulum swing to an overly feminized lifestyle mixed with suppression of the masculine, is that there’s a development of OPENNESS and COMPASSION (which is wonderful) but not necessarily of POWER.
Instead, we think that demanding that others bow to our flow, our needs, our wounds, etc., we think that this is empowerment. To me, this is entitlement.
We often fear power because we’ve only ever seen it be misused or distorted, which is the imbalance of externally reliant power, but the answer isn’t to disregard it altogether. The answer is to cultivate it within ourselves as inner power and inner safety. Without power, there’s no ability to protect or direct.
Referring to the simple story above, I tapped into my power, my masculine, at that moment (which I’ve built up the capacity to hold and have certainty in), to make the decision to either sit through the undesired experience and let it wash over me, or I could choose to disengage. I chose to disengage and direct my body and attention elsewhere.
If we don’t balance power with compassion, the masculine with the feminine, the Universe will gift us experiences and relationships that make it happen for us. It’s all a learning experiment that we’re choosing, every moment.
When there’s too much compassion (feminine), and not enough power, we end up feeling DEPLETED. We lose all the energy. We’re drained.
When there’s too much power (masculine), and not enough compassion and openness, we typically receive negative feedback from the external world.
When we train ourselves to remember safety can only come from within, and is typically encouraged through a loving relationship, or when someone in power does not get their needs met through you (the one that’s more vulnerable and learning something new from someone who has the knowledge or skillset you seek), this is how we learn to trust our capacity to hold energy.
This takes time and practice. We don’t automatically make a bid for power that is way beyond what we can handle, otherwise, we’ll collapse from all the heavy responsibility. (e.g. a Starbucks barista becoming the CEO in a day, or a new tantra teacher suddenly becoming Osho reincarnated). After all, with more power comes…well, you know the rest.
The growth of authentic and sustainable power takes training, time, and compassion.
The only power that can be taken is external, the power that we falsely think is real and boosts our small self.
So, my question for you is—
How do you feel about POWER?
Are these aspects (compassion and power) of your life in balance? If not, I guarantee Spirit will give you the signs and nudges (sometimes a kick in the ass) to get you back into alignment.
How can you resource yourself now to maintain power?
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